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Who I am...

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I am a Thirty-Something year old mother of two lil boys who are are entertaining and energetic as they can be. I have to admit I live a fairly charmed life; and really have nothing that I should complain about. You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

Monday, December 26

So this is Christmas???

Christmas has came and went. My house is in complete disarray, the boys room looks like a small toy store and I am so ready for this year to finally be over !
 
We spent Christmas eve as we always do with family, eating, opening gifts, baking cookies and getting ready for the arrival of the man in red. Jackson was especially excited and I was starting to think that he may not go to sleep... EVER! 
Isaac has been sick this past week, and so he was only partially enthused about the happenings around our home that evening.
But finally the cookies were made, the boys were in their Christmas PJ's, and sleeping soundly in their bed.
Which of course is when my night really kicked into hyper gear.....
I think I got to sleep sometime on Christmas morning.....
Christmas Morning....
 
Of course the boys were ready to go as soon as they managed to crawl out of their half asleep half awake state. Our traditional Christmas morning breakfast was made and the madness began....
Long story short my boys are beyond spoiled....
Jackson is now the proud owner his first Deere... 2 speed with reverse....
and
Isaac is officially ready to kill his first deer with his new bow and hunting gear.
 Of course many other odd and end items were also included but I am not going to torture you with a list.
So the morning progressed as planned.... 
minus the phone calls from my ex mother in law

Now I will never for the life of me understand this woman....
I also will never understand how people can look at her and see a good christian woman....
Are they blind?
I will go ahead and fend off any jabs at my religious standing by saying I do not pretend to be anything I am not.... Do I believe in god? Yes. Do I pretend to live a perfect life? No
So on with my ranting...
To fully understand my dislike for this woman you first need to grasp my hatred for her son...
The son whose actions she validates....
Isaac's biological donor aka father has not seen nor spoken to him in almost a year... let it be said that this is by his own doing. And lets remember that this is a child born of a marriage, a child that was wanted or so I thought.
There has been NO attempt by any of his family to see Isaac is the past year until the holidays.
I am sorry but a family is a family all year, not just on the holidays.
I understand that they had a terrible loss this past year, with the death of my ex father in law. But last time I checked life is for the living, not for purely mourning the dead. 
So of course, Isaac and I had already talked about how this would probably happen and had decided a plan of action....
He would spend Christmas with his family at his own home. 
Of course my ex mother in law was not happy with this decision, but I am at the point that I really do not care.
She has not a mothering or grand-mothering bone in her body. 
She has raised three of the most unable adults especially in the realm of parenting.
How many people can say that none of their children are raising their own kids?
Parenting skills at their best!
What type of " father" or "grandmother" goes a year with out seeing their son/grandson?
What type of "Father" gets remarried and has his new wives children in his wedding, but doesn't even invite his own son? That's right he wasn't invited...so for all of those people that have heard I refused to let him go... it is kind of hard to refuse to let someone go somewhere they weren't invited to be.
The list of things could go on and on and yet this woman, this so called mother and grand mother would find a way to validate her son's actions.
He lost his job.... so he has a new one...
His wife left him... so he has a new one....
He is struggling with his fathers death..... his son is still alive
He is back in church and is a godly man..... By whose standards? Surely not gods... not any god that I would serve.
Now I am sure that some will read this and think .... Erin that is your son's family.... again by whose standards?
So Isaac stopped by his so called grandmothers house this evening to pick up the gifts that she had for him... Now this will be the first time in his ten years of life that he left her home with a gift at Christmas, as he was always required to leave them there....
Of course as I suspected in her typical fashion she asks him " tell me truthfully, did you want to come yesterday? because if you felt that this is where you needed to be, then you should have been?" 
Who puts their ten year old grandson on the spot like that? 
What type of woman who lives her life as if this boy doesn't exist would expect him to greet them with open arms?

I try to look at it from a calm perspective.... 
But it is hard....
Isaac is my son....
They have no influence on him from day to day....
and yet I always end up being the bad guy...which is something that I am growing very tired of.
So after ten years of biting my tongue around Isaac, and ten years of hoping that his father would snap outta whatever alternate reality he was living in... I have made a command decision....
These people are nothing to my son. 
My son is better off with out people like these in his life.
and there is a special place in hell for people like this.

Harsh... maybe.... but maybe not.
I have and will make mistakes, but the on mistake I will never make is that of not being there for my son's.
They will have good memories of me.... 

I am pretty sure that there isn't a member of this family... so called father or grandmother that can say that where Isaac is concerned.

So now I am sitting, thinking,my eyes burning from having cried so much this evening. Not only because my son still has that it is my moms fault attitude, but because I know that he is hurting and that his so called father could care less.

Wednesday, December 21

Recap......

I have been beyond busy and have really not been very good at keeping up with my post! 
So what has been going on to keep me so distracted??
Thanksgiving
Finals
Christmas prep
Heart Cath
Life.....
 
Thanksgiving came and past with out any major disasters. In fact my cousin and I had a really good time waiting for the turkey to cook and managed to polish off a bottle of wine!
It is always nice having family around, that is one thing that I want for my boys: to grow up with and around their family. 
 
I did brave the crazy Day after Thanksgiving sales.... Broke a nail.. but got what I went for... so complete success!
I had perhaps the worst experience thus far in my classes at EIU this semester. The dreaded group work... Now I can say with all honesty that there is not a single one of these girls that is a bad person, in fact I like them all, but as a collective whole... OMG!  Lord help them! 
 At times I had to remind myself that to them this is life or death.... they don't look at it as just another thing that will too pass....
I hope the experience taught them that their success in life does not hinge on one project their senior year of college.
 
Heart cath...
So far.. so good....
We are keeping our fingers crossed that it worked this time.... 
I can say this time it was much more enjoyable....
as enjoyable as having something shoved up your leg can be :)
 
Christmas Prep
The boys are both ready for Christmas ... of course!
I am as ready as I am going to get at this point. 
This year has just really been an off year for me.... 
I am not sure if it was everything else I had going on, or the fact that it has been sixty degrees outside for the past few weeks off and on, but for whatever reason I have just had a very hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year.
This is SO not like me! But I have managed to get it together for the most part.

So now I think I am caught up.... 


 
 

Thursday, November 10

Has anyone seen my Motivation????

Because it has went AWOL!
Normally if I have a day at home, with nothing else planned, my house would be spotless, food cooking, my children bathed ( ok my kids aren't dirty), and everything seemingly perfected. Ok so It isn't really like a Martha Stewart catalog, but it is close.
Today however; I have done nothing. When I say nothing I don't exactly mean NOTHING. I did get my eye brows waxed and Jackson got a haircut. But that is where it ended..... 

Now I am sitting in my living room, looking around thinking.... Where do I start?
Now let us be clear... My house isn't dirty... But it isn't up to my standards. 

Plus I still haven't managed to put up my Christmas Tree.

I guess a day off should be spent relaxing... But then I just feel like a bum.
And feeling like a bum just makes me wanna take a nap.....

Which leads to more missing motivation.....

 

Tuesday, November 8

Toddler Tales...... A glance at my Health studies Family Blog

The Toddler years..... The time in every parents life that they only wish that Prozac was sold OTC, and you truly learn why Chuck E. Cheese sells alcoholic beverages.
In these years also comes the new uncharted territory of discipline and the dreaded Potty training....


On average a Toddler hears the word no 400 times a day!


Not only is this trying on the parent, but studies show that the over use of the word no, can lead to poor communication skills later in life.
Around my house no was one of the first words that Jackson successfully manipulated in the correct context. Although at this point ( we are almost three) the word no has little to NO meaning to him.


WebMD has offered some tips and advice for parents who are new to a toddlers point of view.


1. Be consistent Try to have the same schedule every day.  Consistency is also extremely important in discipline.
2. Avoid stressful situations - By the time your child is a toddler, you will know their triggers and you will learn to avoid them
3.  Think like a toddler. - explain things so that a toddler will understand. Set limits but validate their feelings.
These things along with ALOT of patience and the occasional "Mommy Time Out" will help you navigate thru these unpredictable years.
Now with Jackson we have tried numerous things when it comes to potty training.......
  • Big Boy undies (complete with Sponge-Bob and Yo Gabba Gabba.
  • A really cool "lil" Big boy potty.
  • Pull Ups that change color, temperature etc.
  • Cheerios as targets in the potty.
  • Reward systems
I have come to the conclusion that at the moment going potty like a big boy is a novelty in our home ( at least to Jack).
We don't push the issue and I can only hope that eventually he gets with the program so to speak
Typically the issue is emotional readiness as opposed to physiological  readiness.
Signs of emotional readiness for toilet training include:
  • Your child stays dry at least 2 hours at a time during the day
  • Your child is dry after naps.
  • Your child's bowel movements are regular and predictable.
  • Your child's facial expressions, posture, or words suggest he or she is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.
  • Your child can follow simple instructions.
  • Your child can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress.
  • Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers.
  • Your child asks to use the toilet or potty chair.
  • Your child asks to wear grown-up underwear.
Again Patience is the best thing not only for your toddler, but for your self.

Remember Bribery is always an option!  Mini M&M's work wonders!
And I guess I can't stress Patience enough.....

Its beginning to look alot like.... Wait a minute............

I must admit I am all for getting an early start on Christmas, but I was a bit bothered when I saw my first Christmas commercial on tv the day AFTER Halloween......
Is my tree up yet... sadly no.
I will admit I love the decorations and how the house feels so cozy this time of year.
But I have started bringing in my winter decor such as snowmen and other seasonal non Christmas related items.
My home will be Christmas ready by next Thursday....

Before you throw me to the wolves..
I can explain....
I will be going into the hospital for yet another Heart procedure on the 17th....
So I want to come home to everything done and ready....

I do wish the weather would get with the program...
not that I want snow, ice or any of the other  wonders that winter holds for us... but seventy degrees in November???
We won't even mention the rain.......
So I have updated my blog to express my Christmas cheer.....
One of my first steps in celebrating the season....


Saturday, November 5

Words of wisdom..... from my sons....

" I need more monies"-Jack

Jack is currently in a money craze! He goes around our house like a small fortune hunter on a HUGE mission. 
To seek out and claim any discarded coins for himself.
He is getting quite good at it.
In fact just today as I was trying to locate change for the car wash, guess who I went to....
Thats right my own lil two year old loan officer....
The keeper of the coins....
Jackson Wayne.

"Thats a really good deal, mom"-Isaac

Isaac I swear is my hoarder child.
He is nothing like me in regards to my OCD and need for order.
He went with us to an auction last night and everything was just such a great deal to him he hated to not buy it all. 
The fact that he did not need it, already had it, or had no where to put it meant absolutely NOTHING to this child.
His only concern was, did he have enough money to purchase the item, and rather he could con me into bidding on it for him.
He left the auction with two items.
Because I ultimately had the final say on what he could spend his money on since I had to bid for him.
My only hope is that one day, that OCD gene kicks in a lil bit with in him.... 

Sunday, October 30

Tomorrow is really Monday??

So Friday night we had Trick or Treat and company over for a Halloween Party....
Jackson LOVED passing out candy!!
He did however kinda sound like a creepy ole guy when he yelled to kids across the road
"HEY KIDS COME HERE, I HAVE CANDY BARS!!!"
But he had the best of intentions!

                                                    
Isaac's costume actually turned out great!!  I had my doubt for a lil while when we were trying to get his fake baseball to stick to his head... but it worked out in the end, and stayed in place all night!


It is truly amazing to think that Isaac is now ten years old and that Jack will be three in four months.
Time is passing by so quickly it seems.
I can't say that I would want to pause time, but I do sometimes wish it had speed control....

Today one of my oldest friends posted a photo of myself and Isaac on facebook.
It is hard to remember him that little, and myself that young.
But looking at this photo just makes me realize even more how quickly time has went by.
Because even though I know I look older, I still don't feel any older than the day that photo was taken.



So after a weekend of craziness, I am spending today cleaning my house.
The boys room looks and smells like something exploded and then died in there.
My kitchen needs re organized after having family over.
and the rest of the house....
Well....
Lets just say I will be busy most of the day.
But the boys have all went somewhere else, with other things to do, and I am taking full advantage of my
quiet time at home before the madness starts again.